I'm a fool, a dumb fool.

Why must you do this to me!? I'm a fool I say, a dumb fool. Why do I like you? I don't even fucking know anymore. We get into frequent arguements. Do we even listen to each other? One of us always has to let go and leave the situation unsolved. Then that situation brings up again. I've felt pain, you act like you don't know! I'm not blaming you, well I am a bit. God damn it! I can't even talk to anyone about this. I'm so frustrated! UGH!

I'm hungry.

I'm at Jimmy's house
We're watching district 9.

I drank this nasty jagermeifter drink. IT WAS SOOOOO GROSS! LOL!
And he drank something with pineapple. Sky Infusion yeah.

I'm hungry. I'm hungry.
I have a haircut appointment at 4 today so I'm just waiting.

WTF!

Like Seriously?

Poems.

Mary is gonna make herself known for what she loves one day!
I sent in 12 of my poems from 8th grade(3 years ago) to an publisher located in Arizona.
They sent me a message back saying that this is not what they're looking for but they are glad that I have started at a younger age and they want me to send in my current ones. To me I thought it was a positive response because my poems back then are ewww. But yeah Currently writing one! :D!

I write songs, I write poems, I am a writer who hopes.
Writerhopes.

Trap Cards.

In school so bored. Next to My Van right now. School is gay and friends are gay. ALL OF THEM ARE! So contradicting? if you heard me during lunch today you know who I mean.

Maria is going back to New York on friday! I hate to admit it but I'll miss her even though we fight like crazy! She's a faggot though none of the less. :D

My Van looks depress right now D:

"She does not look depressed."

Oh yes she does! TICKLE MY TUM TUM!

"No she doesn't shut up"

:D

Today I shall go to Hawthrone and attempt to get my secret receiver something.Lol With Jimmy because he has a umbrella that works!

He gave me a broken one when he lost mine, Well his mom gave it away. THANKS JIMMY! -_-
You will be defeated! >:[ Prepare to meet your doom! YOU WILL BECOME A SQUEALING GIRL! MUAHAHAHAHHAHAA!

"Seem like your were gonna cut off his boy part"

YES! YES I AM! MUAHAHHAHAHAHAH! or give your dog away to someone. nah I wouldn't even touch your dog or your penis. I'll get your dog to bite it off! MUAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA

PREPARE TO MEET YOUR DOOM!

The End :]

I love them.

Best friends, Jimmy Leograuth and Tyson Huyen
I miss you guys. Can't wait to join you up in heaven. I love you guys.
It's been 2 years and still counting ever since you guys been gone.

First Crush, First Love, Paul Mah
I miss you. Been going to your grave everyday. Even Brian makes me see you. I'll see you in heaven soon love.

My Baby, Baby Paul West Ma
You're not my actual baby. But basically you are. I miss you and love you.

Friends, Everyone else.
Dancers, Music producers, and Writers. Love you all.

I miss my friends. :[

Movies.

I watched 3 asian movies last night, They were all supposed to be horror films. lol

Watched
- Suicide dolls
- We're going to eat you
- Cello

Suicide Dolls was the most blehhhh movie! Okay so there was no subtitles, it was self explanatory though. But the only one that could understand was Brian. Lol So I'm going spoil the movie, the first death was that a girl shot herself in the head IT TOOK LIKE 20 minutes for her to die! The second death was that a girl hung herself, wasn't epic though... The third death was that a girl performed Harakiri on herself, which is stomach cutting and she pulled one of her eyes out but it took so long for her to die! Then there was like some dolls dancing at the end, it was soooooo stupid! Playing some Gabba music. Omg the stupidest funniest thing! Then after the credits there was a random sex scene. It was very gory. Very stupid

The movie We're going to eat you was not scary. It was just very funny. Where these detectives went to some island full of cannibals to catch a bandit. Funny Funny Funny.

Cello I LIKE THE MOVIE! It was epic! :D

Then last night Cousin and the Brian's went to party. I stayed home.

Something that came up last night.

People who compare my poems to their:
Ahem...

Fuck you guys lol! You guys write about the obvious! Trying to use big words in them? LOL Do you even know what it means? You guys make me laugh. Seriously you guys are excellent writers but don't need to say shit about mine. I'm still improving. Something that's different between my poems and yours. I write what's on my mind during that moment and it takes me like 5 minutes to 1 hour, you guys write about something that you've never felt or anything and it takes you a month to finish. Don't compare!

I quick write!

Writerhopes

Oyy.

WOW Wtf! Brian broke up with me. And we just got back together yesterday.

Whatever more time for school and poetry. -_-

Oyy..

Update.

Got back together with Brian. I don't know if I should be happy or be disappointed? I got tricked! He was speaking in chinese and I was like yeah yeah whatever, you know? Oyy, but it gave me a heart warming feeling. He's coming to Oregon this week, don't know when. Yes he's in California. Mary in a long distance relationship?!?! but really it's not a long distance relationship if we can come to each other anytime we want. Lol. We have the power to do that.

You ever notice before how everyone use to be straight? As if gays, bi's, and lesbians were outcast? Remember those immature days? Well now don't you notice there's many different orientations? I don't have a problem at all with Gays, Bi's, and lesbian's. But it's like a trend right now. When this trend is over, will everyone be like I'm straight? Life is full of paths to follow, why don't people make their own?

Writing a book of poetry. Determined.

Winter is chasing us song, almost done.

I'm tired. Talking to Brian, he's yawning on me.

Oh and by the way, I punched my eye and I don't know how.

Life is confusing.

Music Music Music

Music carries me so far. I don't know where I would be if music has never existed. I would die if I was deaf, listening to music, playing music, I love music.

I can't wait until I get my first tattoo and yes it involves music. No I will not regret it, I can never regret anything that involves with music.

Live life loving music.

Winter is chasing us song will be done by December 21st. I will be playing the song in public that day.

Swimming

Swimming!
So today was my first swim meet ever! It was epic because my coach made me do 3 events. The 50 free, the 100 free and the 200 free relay (all I had to do was a 50 free).

So during the 50 free, I was pretty confident/nervous. Getting up on the board I felt as if nothing matters anymore. I didn't do 2 feet diving because I didn't perfect it yet. So I use one feet. I felt confident that time but then as I enter the water and notice that my vision was blurry, my goggles fell off. Like Epic fail man. As I continue to grasp for air in the last 25 because I didn't like the feeling of being blind, my mind is like FUCK FUCK FUCK. But the thing is that I beat someone in that race so I'm happy. LOL My time was 41.47 seconds

The 100 free, WHAT AN EPIC EVENT! Seriously this is my first time doing a full 100. Hahaha, like during practice I slack off. hahha Bad bad bad. but yeah full 100 this time. Stepping on the board wasn't to bad, I was scared that my goggles would fall off so I really tucked in my chin. Diving in was better because my goggles didn't fall! As I pace myself in the first 50, I noticed I was really slow compare to everyone! I was like fuck fuck fuck. So in my last 50 I tried to go faster. Pshh it didn't work at all LOL! But I finished with the time of 134 seconds.

So the last event was the 200 Free relay, I didn't really do much just swam. I was dead tired though, so tired.

Swimming man, it's fun! Wednesday at Columbia against Franklin!

Up at the studio!

With my loves beside me! Drinking them grey goose and dancing to lady gaga all night. Damn, I love these people. They make my days!

Swimming Meet coming up!! Gotta get ready!

I'm tired. let's sleep.

Fuck School

Lady Gaga - Monster.
Song is cool, don't hate of her!

School School School
I fucking hate school this year, the schedule is screwing up my grades. Hosa Conference is not gonna be there next year. And I just hate the teacher. Well one teacher, Ms. Koch. Her CPR shit is fun but then again it's hella boring! This year, I'm copying a lot of homework and that I need help in my classes. I usually don't need that much help and I usually dont' copy that much last year. It's pissing me off. The only thing that seems to work out is the sports. And yes I am trying, just that it's sooooo hard to like focus on this one thing.

I miss writing, like poetry. I need another fucking break!

Cussing to much, man.

AHH.

3 topics

3 topic I would like to talk about in this blog.
1. Using different delects and languages
2. Depression
3. That feeling.

Using different delects and Language.
So I'm friends with a lot of chinese people especially in school. To many actually. So we all talk in english and all that shit right? Then all the sudden BOOM! Foreign language takes over the conversation, so all these non-understanding people goes quiet, like wtf? OKAY NOW. Seriously, I hate it when I'm with a group of people of all the same race sometimes. They're speaking their different delects and then turns to me, why is Mary so quiet today? I'm not quiet, I just can't understand what the fuck you're saying! I'm not trying to say you guys can't talk in your guess delect. Just be like don't approaching me saying I'm quiet when you all are speaking this foreign language around me. Get it?
And People should shut the fuck up about people can't speak their own like family language. I can understand viet, just can't speak it. Don't fucking say shit in viet like "She's viet but she can't speak it, Bad parents Bad parents." Yeah fuck you, I understand your shit. People need to think before they speak man. I know I do, but what are you gonna say when you were just saying it's stupid that people don't know how, you know there are people in the room that doesn't. So what are you going to say when they speak up? like you're stupid or something? bitch please, I'll be more successful than you are.

Depression
To many people exaggerates the feeling of sadness, saying that they are depressed. You are not depressed. Go to the doctors and check then. Enough said.

That Feeling
Brian and I just broke up yet we still have feelings for each other. We talk and talk. Use nicknames for each other. It's as if we've never broke up. Jealousy reveals as he gets a girl's number and when I go to a party. It's obvious to both of us, we know that we want to continue our relationship, we know what we want. I'm not assuming, we've actually talked about this. But we just can't, my schooling is failing and I'm taking up his time. We're just to busy for each other. We know that so we don't go for it. I have other shit as well as he does. Just that I don't want to mention it. Ay Yah.

I know that I'm like a douche about some of the stuff I just said. Well I am expressing myself on my blog. Ask me about it and I'll explain it to you.

:D

Quick update: Writing a song on the ukulele, "Winter is Chasing Us"
Best friend from pre school is in Oregon!

At least but not least,

I miss him.

THE END! :D!

Good day

So today just happens to be a good day. GOOD DAY!

I found Sean Fujiyoshi from nigahiga! YEAH!!!!!!!!

And then played modern warfare 2 on the xbox. Owned jiahuan though LOL!

and and.. last but not least, was there for Erica's get together. I almost didn't go.

YEAHHHH!!!! :D!

Oh, but I almost called my dad a bitch over the phone because Ken killed me in MW2 lmao!

Oyy..

Quick shoutout to my best friend, Erica Wu.
Yesterday was her 17th birthday. Happy Birthday love.

Brian, what happen? I don't know, I want to work it out. I really want to. But apart of me refuse too. I don't want to yell anymore and I know you don't want to anymore as well.

Sadness.

I want them back.

I feel empty.

Quick poem. 5mins.

I hope everything goes right.
And with all my might.
It shall be fine.
But with this determination of mine.
Is it enough, can it go through?
Will success be in my view?
By then everything will shrivel up.
The drainage of our youth goes in a cup.
Containing what was and what had been.
Containing our energy within.
Then it's poured out, out in a sink.
In the sewers it goes, as fast as a wink.
So I'm guess I'm trying to say.
All I can do is work and pray.
Live for a better day.
And never say nay.
Because refusing is not the way.

Am I giving up?

Live Life Loving Music

Blogging today about yesterday.

So I forgot to blog last night because I don't know my computer was being really stupid! but yeah yesterday was epic fail! EPIC FAILURE!

So yesterday during 4th period, Sherry and I high fived about swimming I believe and then I follow through and hit someone on the ass. EPIC FAILURE! That someone is not to be named because whoever reads this will tease me forever. So Ha, Fuckers.

So anyways this is gonna be about follow through stuff.
You know how in sports, Coachs are like FOLLOW THROUGH!! Well in sports I never follow through, well I do but people usually tell me to follow through anyways. So in life situation, I follow through and I'm with a hand that I'm ashame of. Sob Sob Sob.

This week has been a very bad week actually. I've been hurting myself and been getting myself into embarrassed situation. This sucks. Well I'm done now because it's lunch time at school. I just wanted to blog about it before I forget again.

Boyfriend. Cmon.

:[
I see you everyday. Every single freaking day. You make me smile, you make me frown. Why don't you pick an emotion and just drown me in it. -_- Stress....

Brian T.... Get Well Soon.

I'm always right by your side so wake up already!

Shit.

Fuck my fucking life.

Brian

Freaking out for no reason!
Usually the only one that makes me blush a lot
Can't seem to understand me at the moment
Keeps making me mad thus making me yell

Yet I want to stay with you
Or we should break up...
Unfortunately I still like you a lot even if you're being a bitch.

>:[
:/

Updation.

Hmm.. So Brian went to California today to spend time with his dad for his dad's birthday. Hmm, I kind of miss him but when it's here it's like I see him to much. But I like him a lot so seeing him is always the best except when we get into fights. :]

So Hoan gave me a phone to borrow and it totally sucks because I can't text on it real well. It's so hard. I want qwerty buttons again! Those are the best! :D! Well thank you Hoan La! :D!

School. School is difficult but I can manage it, I should be able to after all. Blah.

Driver's Ed on October 22nd. You can die by seatbelts. So Epic!

._.

We're back together but he's in a different state for this month.

Gradually I'm missing his touch and his hugs. I'm waiting but something came up so what now?

What do I do?

Off topic shoutout...
FUCK YOU!

It's Fine.

:[

This sucks.
I can't even say anything back to her because she's right.
I want to say something back to her but I'll just be wrong.
If I do say something, we'll just get into a argument.
And I'll just destroy our friendship if we did.

Whatever.

Now she's lighting up. I don't want that.
She's saying that she feels to mean.
When she has the right to be.
She's not being mean, she's just telling me the truth.
I can take the truth.

So it's fine. Of course it is.

At Jiahuan's House :D

So I'm at Jiahuan's house and he's in his bed thinking about the girl he likes. I wish I knew who he liked though. He says he's tired but he's not, probably tired of thinking about her.

"Stop writing about me" - Jiahuan yells.

Anyways, Brian and me broke up... :[ I really didn't want to but I'll be okay because Jiahuan will tell me who he likes.

"I never said I will, I said I'll think about it." - Jiahuan

"I should stop talking." - Jiahuan

"Wow.. Wow.." - Jiahuan

Jiahuan is looking at her name in his phone right now. Lol, he won't tell me who she is! :[

"Stop looking at me!" - Jiahuan.

"I was texting you know!" - Jiahuan
"You text with who hands! And you were covering your face with one hand." - Mary
"I was texting with one hand! I was practicing." - Jiahuan

Pause...

I'm sadden that we broke up, it made me think throughout the whole day. Well I've been thinking. Just that I don't know. The thing is that I actually liked him, unlike Tyson. Like I liked Tyson but he was a douche bag and he knows it too!

UGHH.....

Anyways.... I'm venting to Jiahuan. and it's soo.. UGHHHH and Hard! :[

Where's Erica when you need her?!?! She's at volleyball.. :[ Oh wells.

It is Okay JIAHUAN!

Happy birthday Joanna! :D!

Relationships

John Yu is my boyfriend number 2 :D! Muahahaha he just doesn't know it yet. Don't worry John, my friend approves. Well not really after like 2 hours arguing back and forth. He finally accepted you. HAHAHA! x]]

Relationships are hard... I feel like that's no point to continue with Brian. His dad hates me. :[ I'm very unhappy and believe that I should just give up. I don't want to ruin his family after all it's just him and his dad and I don't want to ruin that. Sigh..

It's like we should separate but we both don't want to...

Oklahoma kid's dad.

:[

This sucks. My boyfriend's dad doesn't accept me. He told Brian to break up with me in vietnamese when I was there sitting next to Brian. Yes I know I'm not smart. I'm not anything special but that's rude to criticizes me when I'm right in front of you. :[

Thanks babe for being on my side. But maybe your dad is right. Most likely your dad is right...

Sucks...

To be continued.

I'm in class. I'm supposed to be researching on Reye's Syndrome. I am very bored. Well John is right next to me and Joanna is behind me. They are actually doing work and i'm here blogging. I repeat I am very bored again. :P

To be Continued tonight

Car :D

Mini Cooper S
Color: "Laser Blue"
First Friend in the car will be Erica Wu.
Second friend in the car will be Jiahuan Huang.

Excited. :D

My back hurts.

Hello World.

My back is hurting! It hurts sooo bad! During school today, it was so hard to focus because it hurt so BAD! I was like OMG! shit! I teared a bit because it hurt SO BAD! Lol.

So I don't know now, rather if I do want this to go on or just to stop. I like him, yes I do. But he's only visiting Oregon then he's going back to Oklahoma then moving to California! He said he'll visit me every weekend. I MEAN EVERY?!?! lol I don't wanna dedicate all my weekends to him! Lol My schedule would be School Mon-Fri, Brian Sat-Sun. EVERY WEEK! Ho ho ho I can't do that Lol x]

:/

A Kid from Oklahoma in Oregon.

Blog Question: If you were to save one animal, what would it be?

Answer: I would save a freaking dinosaur! Lol and train it to be vicious to all who opposes me! MUAHAHAHAHA! But yeah the real answer would be a panda, because panda's are endangered creatures. It's sad. :[[[

Blog Question: What's more attrative? Lip piercing or Nose piercing on a guy?

Answer: I think nose piercing are okay on some guys, but I gotta love lip piercing on guys! :D

Blog Question: Do you like a guy at the moment with a lip or nose piercing?

Answer: Yes.

Blog Question: So what's with you and this guy you like?

Answer: Lol, he makes me smile and his personality shines. Although he hates my hands and prefer to walk distant from me! But he's caring. He asks me how i'm doing walking far far far away from him in the dark... >:[ Imma get rape from trailing him from behind and he wouldn't know. :[

Blog Question: Why you gotta say all those mean stuff?!?!

Answer: Lol, Because it's true!

Blog Question: Can you say some positive stuff about him.

Answer: I did! >:[

Blog Question: So who's this guy and how long you've known him?

Answer: His name is Brian. I've known him for like 5+ years then all the sudden two years ago he vanished. I know he moved because his dad owns like a huge company so yeah. Then I saw him just recently! He was visiting Oregon and blahblahblah. Yeah? Yeah.

Blog Question: And What's my name?

Answer: Brian.

:)

I don't know what to say, To make you stay.

Where music is the only thing I need in the world.

I don't need anyone, I only need myself. Because in the world of friendship and relationship, they all need trust. To be trusted and to trust back. I have doubts about friends and relationship, not a single person has been there till the end, but I shouldn't say that because it isn't the end yet. When I didn't want to talk to anyone or when no one listens to me, one thing it doesn't take a form of a human as well. and That's music. Music is my best friend :].

I really don't know what I'm trying to say.. Maybe that I'm in a withdrawal. I want to be independent and not depend on others. I'll depend on music when I need something to depend on.

Blah, that cupcake :[

Today is my failing day.

School tomorrow.

Schedule

1. Ap Physics - Pellico, Matt
2. US History - Dittmer, Tim
3. Open
4. Pre Calculus HNR - DeMaris, David
5. English 5 HNR - Mylet, David
6. Medical Professions Survey - Lloyd, Kathy

Quarter 2: Junior Emergency Care - Koch, Markeeta
Quarter 3: Junior Pre-Dental Skills - Beard, Mary
Quarter 4: Junior Pre-Nursing Skills - Niedermey, Sally

Trying to switch...
Pre Calculus from 4th to 3rd
US History from 2nd to 4th
English 5 Hnr from 5th to 2nd

Weee

It has been forever since I updated my blog.

Today was freaking a rough day.
Went to dance practice at 3am to 6am
Dance Class from 6am to 8am
Guitar and ukulele class from 8am to 11am

Then I went to Cals and got my sb's. :D!!!!
That was the highlight of my day.

Then I max down to beaverton area and called people to pick me up. People told me to WALK when I don't even know where the house is and all that shit! Wow thanks.

Then I got mad so I was gonna go home so I decided to walk to release my anger.

Then Troy called me and started to ask me the same questions OVER AND OVER! I"M LIKE WTF?!?!? AM I NOT MAKING MYSELF CLEAR!? -_- so he pissed me off after I was feeling better. He picked me up, but i didn't wanna go! GOD! HE DID NOT FUCKING UNDERSTAND THAT! So I came to his house all bad moody and shit! -_-

But then it got better.

Then we were going home and Myvan, Jimmy, and I went to Office Depot.

Got 3 protractors and 5 folders each. FOR FREE! Lol x]

yeah that's my day.

It's all too much

And I want to escape from it. Him, Her, Them, all of those. I want to run away. It's too much. I'm not sure where I belong. I miss him, her, them, all of those. But a new set of people just BLAH! Can I go on? I don't know. Can you?

I'm not going, just go.

I wish it didn't turn out this way. I'm barely hanging on. I'm a cliffhanger, someone please pull me up. I need my old life back where sadness never existed. Where the only thing that put me down is that I fell. But I got back up anyways.

I'm off. :[

Music, my remedy, my therapy, my life.

BPM

Bloop

My happiness.. BPM.

Real talk? Straight talk.

"I need to come out straight with this."

"What are you talking about? You can't be straight after talking!"

"NO! I MEAN REAL STRAIGHT TALK DUMB ASS!"

"WTF? Is a straight talk?"

"Like forward talk!"

"But you swing both ways!"

"Don't think about that!"

"How can I not? YOU WERE CUTE!"

"Yeah I am cute huh? NEVERMIND THAT! I just wanted to tell you something."

"That you like a guy?"

"How'd you know?"

"Because you're gay."

We continued to argue about "straight talks."

Good Shit!

So last night I was on the phone with Erica at first for like 15 minutes. Her phone died so blah!

Then Cory called me and just hung up.

Later on I was falling asleep, but Frankie called me and he wanted to call Cory. Omfg. Funny conversation between them. I was laughing through out the whole thing. Ahh.

Good shit. Only if you knew.

:D!

I don't know..

Ayy yaaa...

I don't really know what's going on right now. What to do, what to do... I don't know if I should do anything. Only if I could go to the past where my best friends were alive. They'll know what to do, they always did.

Anyways, this is for NDK.
Seattle, Washington
Round 2
Let's go team. :]]]]

It's keeps tighten up... :/

A song that I recommend

Details in the Fabric - Jason Mraz Ft. James Morrison.
Listen to the lyrics, it's a beautiful song. :]

I was first introduced to the song when I was at a dance studio in Tigard. I walked in a contemporary dance class. A contemporary dancer from Colorado came to visit the class for three days. I was just in the room just to watch since a couple of my friends joined the class. Shane Tran from Colorado did a solo on this song. I've seen good contemporary dances, but Shane Tran's solo just caught my eye. It was pure expressions.

But anyways I want to share the song because I'm going to gay times. I started listening to this song, I stay in place when I place this song and think.

I've just learn how to play this song on the guitar. :D!

:P

Eff My Life.

The Spill

So today, JENNY TRUONG spilled some fruity smoothie purple crap in my room. Where I haven't even spilled water in. So now we just cleaned it but I think there's a stain. SOB SOB SOB! WHY?!?!?!?! :[[[[[[

Jenny Truong the evil cousin ever since she was born. I"M NOT MEAN TO HER! SHE"S THE EVIL ONE!

Hi, I'm Tampon Girl :D!

So during summer school today it was really funny because my friends and I were talking about periods and crap. So here are some part of our conversation..

"My longest was 2 weeks"
"What the fuck? I think you were just bleeding then, you weren't releasing any eggs just bleeding."

"Your pads are pretty"
"What?"

"Yeah she's the man, she doesn't remember when she last had it!"

"You're a she-man"

"I'm on my period a lot, same with my sister, and my mom."
"Oh it's genetics."
"Yeah bloody genetics."

"BLOODY _____________"

"I last had to right before Hosa Conference."
"OH REALLY! ME TOO!"
"Like the day before Hosa Conference I was off"
"SAME HERE"
*High Five*
"What the fuck?"

"You can never have sex without avoiding pregnancy."

Love them. :D They made my day, there was more but I'm lazy. haha

Experience.

My emotional breakdown.

I did not know that I would have this. Like usually it's like I miss him, I miss them I want to see them again. But today is just a breakdown. Like uncontrollable, tensed, and painful. I got a huge headache. It hurts. Breakdown hurts. My body is tense all around, I feel retarded. Gotta get over this. I can't sleep, I won't to sleep but it hurts and my thoughts are taking over. I'm just laying there with wide eyes, tears just drops, but yet I'm not wiping them away or anything. I had to vent because that's all I can do.

It's been a while.

So yesterday was 4th of July. Yay? haha

Youtube.com/mdangmusic broo! :D!

MUSIC MUSIC MUSIC MUSIC MUSIC!!!! Woot Woot!

He just called, I kind of miss him. But it's nothing right? Nothing at all. :]

I went 108mph in a car! My fastest so far. Sooo Awesome! :D

I'm happy, semi sad. I'm confused.. :/

New Poem: Summer's Rain

Summer's Rain.
June 20, 2009
Written by Mary Dang

We all expect Summer to be a waterless season.
Because it's hot? Could that be the reason?
We go out in our shorts and short sleeves shirts.
And some of the girls would go out in mini skirts.
Even if the sun is not shining.
We never expect the clouds to be whining.
No one is expected to carry an umbrella.
No man will be covering his Cinderella.
Then bits of drops from the sky.
Comes crashing down and we ask why?
We run in circles and flee.
A perfect way to ruin an outside shopping spree.
Our day ends by shivering into our blankets.
Next day we wake up sneezing, but we'll make it.
It's just our careless acts that causes our throat pain.
Or maybe it's just the Summer's rain.

I want to publish a book full of my poems before high school. Does anyone know how to start out? :D

4 more poems. I'll post another one today. :] Maybe.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIAHUAN! You're finally 16!
:D!

Poem: Technology

Technology
June 19, 2009
Written by Mary Dang

The world is upgrading with technology.
And soon we will no longer study biology.
Because there is nothing alive with machines.
Because first they don't eat their greens.
They replace our teens.
They substitute the marines.
So maybe technology isn't such a bad thing.
Even though sometimes electricity stings.
But it's all good because technology is our friend.
Light up figure, robotic actions, its starting to be a trend.
We gain weight and our eyes become weak.
And our teens is obsess with sites as we speak.
Drama is no longer argued in person.
But publicly published which worsens.
So is technology really worth it?
Our teens are so lazy to get a permit.
They whine and cry how they're lazy.
Instead of sitting out in the grass playing with daisies.
After school it's myspace.
And then talking shit is a race.
During college it'll be facebook.
You won't have any friends if you don't have the look.
Technology is fine.
But sooner or later it's gonna decline.
Where will our lives be?
Will it be trash? I can't guarantee.

I owe 4 more poems! :D

:P

I owe 5 poems...

I'm not a loser.. :D

So like for 3 days I didn't post up a blog. You guys are probably like so? BUT IT MATTERS TO ME!!!! Really, blogging is my life... x]] NO I"M NOT A LOSER, FUCK YOU! I cuss way to much but it's all good! So pretty much I'm disappointed for not following through that poem everyday thing.. I've been lazy and busy.. Well not busy BUT I GOT MY UKULELE TUNED! :D

Soo how's my life you ask? It's freaking >:P but I'll get over it. haha

No more boy although I still like him. I'm glad that it's nothing now. It was fun while it lasted even though he is a pain in the ass. -_-

I owe you guys 4 poems.. :P

7 more days.. Till I visit you.

And the war just never stops.

Poem! I wrote this today. Been a long time.

And the war just never stops.
Mary Dang
June 13, 2009
Inspired by Handlebars by Flobots.

And through all the bloodshed tears.
Through all the beating years.
We've never stopped.
The war could never been dropped.
But our loves and young ones unite.
Even though they know it can all end tonight.
We watch them walk.
We watch the clock.
Just a matter of time before we hear a ring.
Gathering for a funeral in the spring.
We say our prays.
And for a better day we praise.
And for a couple more years.
The result of the war bring us cheers.
But that only lasts for a while.
Because once again the war is beyond miles.
And we do it all over again.
Soldiers go but memories remain.

Hello! :D

Har har har. I didn't wanna add on to the previous post and I didn't wanna make another for the same day. SOOO I DID IT TODAY! :D

Sooooo tell me, how is everyone doing? Well I don't care because it's my blog! :D But feel free to text how you're doing!

For those who know about my passion MUSIC
I have been working on my "album" for 1 year and a half. I KNOW IT"S SOOO LONG! but after alterations in life I had to change some lyrics and how music is always developing new techniques, sounds, styles I change some as mine as well. If you guys know my main Music Website you can get a snippet of the new song I wrote sometime this month. It's call "Laughter" Really the song is full of laughing because my friends and I were working on the lyrics in late May and he decided to have the chorus full of HAHAHA's. And when we recorded this, it really did sound like Santa clauses because he has a low tone of voice... haha IT"S NOT GOING ON THE "ALBUM" LOL! Really the "Album" is not even an album it's just pretty much a file to me of songs I wrote that I thought I did a good job on.

I have a break between here and there. So the guy I've been hating and liking at the same time is back at home, 2+ hours away. hahahahaha x] I can relax for a bit :D

Counting down the days
11 days till I visit Memory. :P

So!!!!! I SUCCESSFULLY SCRATCH A MOLE OFF! and there's no scar! YEAHHH SON! hahaha x] I gotta admit blood is weird looking when it's from a mole...

I'm fucking hungry right now. I'll blog later. :D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Happy 20th Birthday Yun Phung.
It's been 2 years without you. You're dancing your heart out in Mississippi. I miss you a lot! NDK still strolling on by.

WEIRD NIGHT! Bam bam bam. asdfghjkl;

Confused.

I don't really understand this. I like you, I really do. But after today, I like you even more but I dislike you a lot. Weird right? You're a different guy and I'm actually not comparing you to Paul. You know as well as I do that I think of him, but after today I couldn't get you off of my mind. It's not that I adore you, maybe I hate you. I don't know. I don't wanna talk to you, but I can't. I wish you'd leave me alone, I wish I could leave you alone. I'm sorry for yelling at you, but some of what I said was true. And some of what you said were true. I wish I didn't like you anymore because our situation had changed. Our conversations had changed. Our perspective of each other had changed. I just want you as a friend and nothing else. Even if you say you like me, even if you say all the kind heart warming stuff. I will not believe you. I won't. I can't. Because the rode that was once solid, received damage and the results were cracks. I received damaged and have been left with scars.

Goodbye Seniors, Him, Paul, Best friend, Vent

Goodbye 2009 seniors.
Hello New Freshmen.

I'm sadden that the seniors will no longer be there. I'm sadden that I only have two more years with my class. Yes, they're faggets/douches at many times but I'm sadden to leave the one who made a differences and made high school fun. I believe sophomore year was stupid, excess drama and stupid shit.

Him.
I'm mad at you and I don't understand how you don't. I wish you would listen to me. I wish it wasn't such a problem. You say it's not a problem to you but it is to me. No i'm not exaggerating because no one would like to get prank. It's rude and you're being a fagget for continuing this prank. I've lighten up after your 445 sorrys but now you're just pushing it. It makes me angry but I still like you. Why? I don't know why but I'm gonna change that. You don't deserve an I love you from me. Because I've never said it to anyone as if I mean it (excluding friends). It doesn't make sense. I hope you'll read this. Because I don't know how to get through to you.

Mok, Paul.
People asked me about this so I'm gonna answer it in my blog. The question is "So you like another guy, so I'm guessing you're over Paul." No I'm not over Paul. I still adore Paul. He's on my mind 24/7 and the reason why I've liked someone else is because I just do. There really isn't a reason why I like people. But similarities reminds me of Paul and most of the people I like after Paul had some similiarities. So while I like that person, I stay in this mood which makes me adore Paul. I hate saying Love(Over used) and I don't believe in saying that word to whom I have feelings to that high of a standard on my mind. Don't get offend if I liked you. It's just how I am, I won't be letting go of Paul any soon because I've tried and it's became apart of my life to think about him all the time. Get it? Got it? Great.

Leograuth, Jimmy and Huyen, Tyson
Another question that people ask. "So how are you with no best friends?" Well indeed it's hard because I miss them as much as I miss Paul. I love them. I still need to learn how to cope with the situation but I'm getting there. October/November 2007 they have passed away and I closed up until May 2008 I opened up. But I didn't open up all the way because I test people. It's not as bad as it sound. In May 2009, I have concluded a person that has been the closest to me that I consider a best friend. She's not like Jimmy or Tyson. But she's the closest one. I've told many people things but I tell her everything. So I do have a best friend. But I wouldn't have her if the incidents happen. I'm not happy about the incidents believe me. Because if I had two wishes it would be to bring Jimmy and Tyson back. If I had one, I'd bring Paul back. Not that I want Paul more just because Jimmy and Tyson were both too close of a best friend and I couldn't pick between them, they were a pair! But yes, if the current best friend is reading this. Thank you a lot. You are the first girl that has ever been this close to me. Sorry to others that I have said you're my best friend (We've depart or something like that) but I still love you guys! :D Oh! And just to clear it up, It's not you that's my best friend.. Or you.. Or her.. It's Erica Wu. :]

Last Question: Blog
The third most used question is... WHY DO YOU USE THIS SITE TO VENT?!?!
It's blogging, I vent a lot. Don't read then. Stupid faggets, GET SOME HAHA!

Today.

So today was one of the boring-est days ever.

My parents were being faggets so I stayed home all day. :P So bored that I was attempting to scratch the moles off my arm. Seriously they're not even noticeable to others. Yeah I kept bleeding, so I stopped then I went to bed until 4pm. yeah I was bored. So then after that I'm trying to study for finals but the light is beaming down on my head which makes me hot so yeah Epic failure on studying.

But the good news is that the guy that I like. I talked to him until 6am. :D EPIC FAILURE ON PICK UP LINE THOUGH! :[

I miss my friends.... :/

Weather and Boy

So the weather went from super hot to fucking scary, dangerous crap. Yesterday during the tennis award held after school and weird ass storm came about. FUCKING AYY! I"M SICK NOW BECAUSE OF THE STORM by the way. But yeah the only exciting thing I saw yesterday was that someone got hit by a bicycle... HELLA EPIC! With the ambulance and everything!

So I think I like this guy. We've been talking and I've liked him before but stuff came up and so my feelings for him were put to side. He makes me smile. AND HE HAS THE CUTEST SMILE! :D!

lazying but I'm still venting

I'm a freaking mess right now. So much things to do, so much little time. I"M SO FUCKING LAZY! So I gotta apply for jobs which I'm freaking lazy for. I gotta study for Spanish speaking test, but I'm like nah! I need to HOC homework but I'm like ehh I'll copy like I always do. And the only thing I'm not lazy for is blogging and studying for globals final.

To Her; once again. Fuck you.
You're pushing it fuck face. Stop it. Just fucking stop it. You need a moment to breathe. You don't even know what your aiming to do anymore! You leave me long ass fucking voice mails all the time and you know what I do? I put the phone down and come back in a minute or something or just mute it and wait until I think it's over. You talk a lot, you talk to much, with you talking it's a reason for me to suicide. It's that annoying and horrible. You cuss randomly way to much, it's like watching that Spongebob episode when Mr. Krabs starts saying bad words (Dolphins chirping). It doesn't make sense. And every morning I wake up, I have an erged to go to your school and call you out. Saying fucking hello to your fucktard face and saying fucking goodbye because you're a disgrace. And when you rhyme. You're gay. I hate you I hate you.

I need a friend. I don't have one. I'm mad. But no one knows that. No one cares. Ahh, fuck the world.

Venting once again.

Fuck you, fuck those, fuck the world.

God, people make me mad. Go stab me why don't you. Don't worry it'll make you feel better.

5 people. Guess Who's Who. Maybe it could of you.

A. God, you make me mad everywhere. I hate you and I know you hate me. Go fucking die, shit I don't fucking care about you. Why the hell are you even in my face you little douche face? You're mad at me because I took away your chance. Shut the fuck up shitface. You never had the chance. You never had even a moment to begin with. The only time lights were on you, were the times when you made a scene and you just mad yourself look bad. Why the hell are you still bothering me? It's been a year. A year of peace and quiet I had. Without you, god dammit why did you come back. AHH! FUCK YOU!

B. I live under your roof. I hate you. The End.

C. I can't hate you, of course I can't. It'll be a disaster if I did. But at the moment, you leave me wondering. But it's ok because it's doesn't fucking matter. Nothing ever does. Right now I just wanna leave. I know I make you mad. I know you get annoyed. But at the moment, you can't even explain. Yeah I said I didn't wanna talk anymore but then you say "Sorry." You know how much I hate when you say sorry when it's something to not be sorry or there wasn't even a reason behind it. Just a random sorry. Shit, What are you sorry about? You tell me, and it's not even true. I'm not annoyed, I thought you were >:[ so I wanted to leave you alone. God dammit. If I were to get stab by anyone else other than you, I wouldn't be emotionally hurt. But with you I would. And now this makes me feel bad, I'll keep my promises as long as you keep yours.

D. AHH! Why are you even on my mind! There's not reason why you should be on my mind. Why Why Why! This doesn't make any sense. So yeah, I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at you for not being here. But you wouldn't know, you wouldn't have any kind of idea of how I feel. I miss you, can't wait to see you. Not mad at you but had to vent about you.

E. I don't even feel like venting anymore when it comes to you. Just go away fagget.

I got a muscle cramp from aiming and blogging. Fuck my life. I know maybe it's me. Maybe it's my fault. But I'm still mad. >:[

I feel Empty.

Sometimes I hate friends. Hate having them, hate being around them, hate talking to them.

But I wouldn't be Mary Dang without them. So I guess I hate myself.

I do hate myself though.

The End.

>:O Venting!

Damn stupid blah blah blah! Freaking stalker, get out of my life already, shit you don't gotta tell me what I already know. I know you want to make me feel bad and sad everyday, but you know what I think about it everyday anyways. Freaking chill, it's not gonna do us any good if you keep doing this. Because once when your annoying, pathetic, stupid, jealous self goes over my annoyance limit. You're going down. I know you're gonna read this because you know everything else about me so why wouldn't you know about my blogspot. I'll probably just send it to you. God I hate you.

In School, Communication and personal growth class

So yes, here I am again in class with nothing to do but a bunch of surveys. But I'm really blogging because I just cut myself with my nail. it was kind of epic and out of nowhere. I don't even have long nails. I just pretty much stabbed myself out of nowhere.

TECH IDOL!
WHAT SONG SHALL I DO WITH MY PARTNER SHERRY?!?!
Sherry is right next to me doing her work, I'm such a bad kid. Oh wells! :]

LALALALALALALALALA!

Bored.

Lalalala.. I'm bored. I'm trying to work on this name essay for english. I'm so lazy. My names are boring. :P

A whole new opportunity opened up for me! Especially in the music industry! WOOO!! I'm happy. :] but yet sad/mad.

3 or 4 weeks left of school. :p TIME TO GET TO STUDYING! Gotta get straight A's. I always slack in first and third quarter. but I should get my grades up. I gotta..

HOSA CONFERENCE!

So let me tell what's hosa conference. It's a health occupation competition. This year, it was located in Eugene so we stayed at the Valley River Inn. It was a really fun experience with everyone there. :D

Day 1
I pulled an all nighter because we had to be at school super duper early! So I got there at 6 and there was only one bus. Like wtf? We all can't fit on one bus with our luggage. All of us were waiting for the second bus but it was taking to long! So the people with the last name for A to M were on the first bus. Meaning I was on there. I sat next to Vanny and the bus ride was 2 hours long.. AHH Eventually we reached the Inn, IT TOOK FOREVER TO GET OUR KEYS TO THE ROOM! so we put our luggage in the people that had rooms hahah. And so we moved on to the opening session and then knowledge tests. SO MANY QUESTIONS! ahh! afterwards went to eat, watched playoff games, and blah blah. So like at 10pm we went out to go look for food. EPIC FAIL! all the resturants were closed and blah! :[ So at 11 the friends ordered pizza I chipped in but didn't eat because pizza was gross. and I hate pizza. So I went to bed and lalala. Did I mention Abby slapped my crotch?

Day 2
So we woke up by my alarm "CAN"T STOP I CAN"T STOP lalalalallaa" It was loud and annoying ahhahaha but then only Ling actually got up and got ready. Sherry, Winnie, and I stayed in bed sleeping. Then I woke and stayed up because SHERRY GRABBED MY BOOB! LIKE WHAT THE HELL! So yeah we went to go eat at Red robins and afterwards we went to the pool to swim yay! hahah x] The big pool was freezing!!! After that Jenny, Joanna, and I went to our event. Medical Reading. BLAHH! EPIC FAIL! After that got ready for the banquet. I wore heels for the first time and I didn't fall. EPIC WIN! :D After that we had an hour before the dance. I was hanging out with Erica and My Van in their room. HELLA HOMO TIME! LOL! Then we're off to the dance. Fun time. Pulling people that were shy and dancing around time. And all that silly crap. haha. FUN FUN FUN until SOME GUY(Censored his name) GRABBED MY VAGINA! I MEAN COME ON! WHAT THE HELL! Hosa Conference had become a place to get sexually abused.

Day 3
Woke up and got ready for an event. I wingged my event because I wasn't ready oh wells. and after that we went to go eat and lalala.Blah blah blah time passes..... and then bam! I approached Erica and Erica touched my crotch. WHAT THE HELL DUDE! 4th time? PLEASE! I turned around and walked away.... hahahhahaha then all the sudden My Van hugged me and STROKED MY BOOB! Yeah okay. It felt sooo wrong! AHH! Then it was the award ceremony. lalala... We got on the bus back home around 4 and started leaving at 4:30 I was sitting next to Erica and all we did was mess around and take pictures while she was eating her cheese itz freaking fat ass! HAHA :D. 2 hours later the bus driver hits a parked car. hahahahahaa damn...

After conference
My parents thinks I have the swine flu.

Dislikes about the conference
PEOPLE TOUCHING ME!
How I got medals because there was only two people in the event.
How we had to survive on our own, getting our own food and lalala.
The Inn STOLE MY TOWEL! I wrote and called, complained.. :D

In Eugene pt2

I HAVE NOTHING TO DO! we are waiting for 2 and a half more hours until the award ceremony. We had to check out of our rooms at 11 and then we wait until 3 for an event. How gay is that? We can't even do anything. Nothing to do at all. This is so stupid. :[ lalala I don't know what to say but ehh. :p

i'm on jimmy's laptop right now with nothing to do. oh wells.

In Eugene with nothing to do.

So i'm in Eugene on my friend's laptop because we have a competition here. We are getting ready for the banquet and yes Waiting for my friend to do my hair. lalala I don't know what to say but yes today is the dance. :p

On sherry's laptop.

Continues from April 24th but I was to lazy to post.

Tennis Practice, I came an hour late and I didn't get in trouble! YAY ME!

So the Benson's 89th Annual Tech Show was today, it was fun. Better than yesterday didn't have to sit around actually walked around today. Had 3 shifts today so I was pretty much occupied.

My Shift:
- English: Tour guiding
- Physics: Liquid Nitrogen Show
- NHS: Rootbeer floats

Spent my whole time with Erica Wu today. We looked like twins! Benson tour guiding shirts, basketball shorts, and white and blue shoes. :D

Videos from the Liquid nitrogen show!
ICE CREAM


Frozen Crackers


TODAY IS MAY"S BIRTHDAY! Happy Birthday May Wu :D

Spider bites, Muscle cramps, Music, Sports, Friends

I"M ANGRY!

I hate this week man. FML!
So there was 3 spiders the other day and before I went to sleep I killed them all! because I can't sleep in a room if there's bugs... I woke up with a muscle cramp! Fucking hurts! then.. look what I found on my ear... A DAMN SPIDER BITE! FUCK YOU!

We lost to grant. Oh wells.

State Writing Assignment.
I'm actually doing well on that :D

after tennis is over. PING PONG IS MY LIFE for 16/7 hahah gonna train to beat those canadians in NOVEMBER! WOOT!

I'm losing friends. Fuck them all. Some parish, some just don't know I even exist, most of them sees me everyday ask me for something and doesn't even carry out a normal conversation. You guys would be like maybe it's you Mary. FUCK YOU it's my input not yours. I've confronted and they don't even give me a straight answer. Just walk away, yeah okay thanks.

Making a band. Got the drummer, got the base, got the guitarist, got the lead singer. I play keyboard.

Matt Palmer is like the new Claude Kelly. LOVE THEM! :D I still love Claude Kelly, his songs never disappoint me.

Jimmy Leograuth and Tyson Huyen :P, you're on my mind once again.

Volunteering.

I'm on Tri's laptop at my volunteering site. Tri is very very very angry at his group. Jane is just sitting, Tri said HI in some angry voice, Shirley is doing homework. but she is thinking bout SS501. Yes, I'm supposed to be doing homework :P but today is really hot and I'm lazy. Writing is not my thing right now. :P

I DROVE TODAY! and almost hit a cat... on the freeway..... Cats on freeways now that's new. I'm done now becuase i don't know what to talk about. LALALA.

I notice that I blog everywhere else except home. hahaha

At Sara's house

So I'm at Sara's house and why I'm here is because we were working our anatomy poster. LALA I'm so bored Wilson went home so I can't make fun of him anymore. :[

BUT YES I got a haircut, my last year brown/blonde hair is gone, oh wells. WELCOME THIS YEARS BROWN/BLONDE HAIR! WOOT WOOT!

In class once again.

IN ENGLISH CLASS ONCE AGAIN!
So the remaining students are finishing up their CIM testing. The rest of the other students are supposed to be working on some word master and this Ethan Frome study guide thing. The quarter is about to end and I have a B in physics. F my life. I need an A! but I'm 8% away from one. DAMN WHYYY!!! But yes, I'm very bored and I needed to updated my blog.

2 days ago it was my birthday, yay me. :] I'm finally 16 and I am able to get my license inn.... 2 more months. Yee. This class is boring and i'm typing away because life is boring. Luehna is once again next to me, yay me. :]]]] Puahahah, I don't know what to say either than it's SUNNY!! Wow. The tennis team is playing Grant today, hopefully we'll beat them. Benson never beats Grant -_- but maybe today! MUAHAHHA! We shall conquer and destroy them. PUAHHAHA! So yes, I am going to end my blog because it's already 10:46am and class ends in like 30 minutes.

Thank you May for the Vans :D

No Tattoo, No Canada, Worst Birthday Week EVER!

The absolute worst day of my birthday week. I'm not even looking forward to being a year older. Oh yay, you're a year older blah blah. Yippee right? Fuck that, I don't care. I rather spend my birthday at the cemetery with the loves than act all happy with my friends. I seriously don't even want to experience my last day of being 15 or my first day of being 16.

I'm not getting a tattoo anymore. Both parents agreed to a No. -_-

No Canadian tournament because I will be at the HOSA competition.

I would write more, but I'm really upset.

School and news.

At school once again. So I'm in english class again, people are working on their CIM testing and surfing the web. The teacher is yelling for us to be quiet. Blah. Oh wells. SO I HAVEN"T BEEN BLOGGING FOR SO LONG! Okay so there's so many things to say but it's 5 more days before my birthday. And for the last day of being 15, I am going to get 2 tattoos and a lip piercing. I"M SO EXCITED! but I dont really wanna do the lip piercing anymore because ehh, on guys it's hot! :D but yeah I won't probably do that at the end. I'm scared if my parents both agree to a no. Then I can get my tattos! I DREW THEM OUT ALREADY! :D if I do get them, I'll post up pictures but yes I feel as if i'm the only one typing in this room and it's pretty loud. so Imma stop now.

Blogging in School part 2

So I'm in class again but this time I'm in english class. Just got done taking the worstless CIM reading test. I'm very tired, I couldn't sleep last night. GAY! Luehna is next to me doing her math homework. x]

Deciding if I should go to Outdoor School or not because I'll be leaving at the start of 4th quarter because for tennis that's when we play Madison and Franklin. WEAK! but I'm scared about leaving school because I procrastinate and I still need to keep my grades up. But I wanna go because it was fun when I was a 6th grader so why not go back? You get a half a credit for one week too. But then I don't know anyone who's going to my camp which is Sandy River. :[ So unhappy imma be a loner. Oh noo, I've would of gone to Outdoor school in a heartbeat if I got into Namanu or Howard because I went to Namanu in 6th grade and my friend is at Howard. Blah, this sucks making decisions. And I wanna go this year because next year I'll have an AP class. I don't wanna screw myself over. Tell me what should I doooo! :[ I have to make my decision today so I can pack up for training tomorrow. Blah, this sucks.

But yes I'm very hungry at the moment but I have to talk to my physics teacher next to ask if I could do his test another day. :P

LUEHNA LOVES ME! :D puahahhahahaha

Today is the away game vs. Franklin. WEAK!
Tomorrow is the home game vs. Wilson. But I might instead go to training. We'll see....

The day maker(s):
Still waiting...

FRIDAY!!!

IT"S FINALLY FRIDAY! I thought this day would never come. Books and assignments had be piling up on me! AHH! I hate school! So much work to dooooo!!! Gotta keep a 4.0 -_- LET"S GOOO MARY!!!

Updations:
Monday - Very boring day, went into Taboo's donut place for the first time. haha
Tuesday - Scary day, :/ Luckily Erica Wu was there to protect me. :]
Wednesday - Table tennis jersey! CHYEAHHH!!!
Thursday - irritation on the skin man and pain. Dad's birthday.
Friday - Tennis practice, Perfect day, Went into Pizza Schizzma? for the first time.

SO TODAY! I was all worked up because in Global Studies we had to do a presentation and all that. But I wasn't done.... I MEAN NO ONE WAS, Damn sub... -_- So it was to skip or not to skip... I've never skipped my life... :/ sooo.. My friend and I were all ugh.. I don't know what to do the entire day and the night before HAHAHA 2 minutes before class started, we decided to go to class. I"M SO HAPPY MY NAME WASN"T CALLED! WOOO! NOW I HAVE THE WEEKEND TO FINISH IT! YESSS! :D Good day, fun day with teammates.

Scariest day just happens to be Tuesday. A lot of pain and my friend was there to watch it all... I still feel bad. :[ She excorted me and protected me. I felt relieved and I was trying my best to keep my promise.

I'm so tired. Time for homework.

Jericho

Jericho Nguyen. I hate you fucking douche bag. :[ :[ :[
>:[

Very unhappy at the moment. But happy because I'm bringing my ukulele to school tomorrow! :D

Bam.

Back to blogging :D

Just a quick one.

Tennis: Blah, I'm starting out horrible. I'm on varsity but that doesn't matter, I'm not even up in the high ranks. I guess I have to challenge. -_- oh wells. I CAN DO IT! :D Maybe... :P But why does it matter? When I play doubles? Ahh, >:[

Music: Going great with Little Miko(My ukulele). Wish I could spend more time with it though. Still working on that weather song, but haven't been really trying to finish it. I gotta bring my ukulele to school one day so I can play I'm yours by Jason Mraz :D. Greg Lu >:[ >:[

School: Fuck Fuck Fuck I hate school! -_- it's stupid!!!

Family: :/

Friends: I need Jimmy and Tyson back. I miss you both! and others are just :[ right now

Relationship people whatever you call them:
Paul - always missing you so what's new?
Jericho - Eh, Don't know.
In general, has been the same.

Writing: I need to spend more time.

Ping Pong: Should I go to the tournament?

Question, Quick write, and Day.

"Why? Why are you doing this? Why can't you just end it?" - Anonymous
"Because I'm not strong enough and I'm afraid." - Me

Today was a crappy day. Fuck. I was blah all day except 4th period. I was being a little weirdo and playing with my friend's white hair. It's as if I made a new best friend. hahaha. x] then I pulled out another friend's and tried to trick my cousin hahaha. Did not work out. I'm tired. I wanna go to sleep but I can't. I'm thinking. Sigh...

"Maybe its just me" 02/26/09
So tell me, how long has it been? How long has the world been getting duller? Or is it my vision, losing it's color? Simply how long? I use to be so much more. I use to try and act normally. Never had to hide, never had to run. But now everything is hiding behind my smile. Behind the fake being in myself. As memories replay in my mind, someone is yelling at me to get over it. How can I? Do you even imagine yourself in my place? No you don't, you go on with your lecture. Saying this and that while I talk back. I have my reasons for being like this, do you even listen to me? Or maybe I haven't been listening. Hypocritical about many situation, I don't listen to my own advices, I don't listen to what others say. Negativity overwhelms my mind and body and yet I give out a positive motion in person. And that's my fault. Maybe its just me.

The Day Maker(s):
None

At school and Sara Yon

So I'm writing this blog from the computer lab in school. I'm so bored and I'm right next to my friend, Sara Yon! :D No I am not off task it's because there's nothing to do and the printer doesn't have enough ink. Benson is stupid so the guy is not here to replace the ink. I mean I CAN so :P. For a tech school the computers here are slow and old. Tsk tsk tsk. What kind of school is this. Oh look some student came here with ink. Woo that means I have to get back to work. The teacher is right behind me and I don't really care. He likes me so it's all good. I currently hate this boy because he took the country CHINA so now I have Laos. There's nothing bad about Laos it's just I didn't wanna write and talk about it because I absolutly know nothing about the country. :[

The sun is shining today. I'm happy! :D Tennis outside then YAYAYAYAYAY. The rain better not come at the last minute though. Or i'll be MAD. I hate Portland but then I also love the place. :] It contains all my love ones.

Sara is wondering how can I talk so much about my life. Because I am self-centered. HAHA NOT just that I like to keep my readers reading. :] NO I"M NOT LYING ABOUT MY LIFE. THAT"S JUST SAD! I just like talking a lot. Which I do a lot. :D

I"M HUNGRY! HUNGRY HUNGRY HUNGRY! :P but yeah, How's your life? Well don't tell me make your own blogspot. Sob Sob Sob I have nothing to type about I guess I'll continue this at home. I'm just continuously typing because I'm a loser with nothing to do. Sara is actually doing her work. I'm just gonna talk about her because I pretty much love her. :D Even though she loves Wilson more. "I LOVE YOU MARY! BUT I"M IN LOVE WITH WILSON!" - Sara YAWNS! :D Tehehehe. Some random people are grabbing the mini shoe on my backpack for no reasons. I'm just slightly typing this away and glaring at them. So Bored. Ahh....

SARA LOVES WILSON
SARA LOVES WILSON
SARA LOVES WILSON
SARA LOVES WILSON
SARA LOVES WILSON
MARY LOVES WILSON
OH SHIT SARA HIT ME BECAUSE I SAID THAT!
SHE WANTS HER MAN!
HER ANOREXIC MAN But he's all fat and no bones. He jiggles. :]
HE"S A BLOW UP DOLL! HAHAHHAHA :D
SARA LOVES WILSON WILSON WILSON.

;]

At home:
My thought as of right now.
I really miss you, I didn't know you can do this much of an impact on me. Sighh... I'm sorry.

Rain, Joanna, and Poems :D

School was boring, I just wanted to sleep. :P I hate the rain, to much rain. Go away rain. Stupid rain -_-. But I'm working on a song about the weather (idea from Joanna Yan VISIT HER BLOGSPOT http://ch4pst1ck.blogspot.com/)

Poems are here :D
"And from this day" 02/24/09
Dedicated to Paul Mok

I may be a fool if I show this,
But I cannot hide that it's you I miss.
The world became cold on a summer's day,
And the color vision I use to have became gray.
The way you use to make me smile,
I always knew you went the extra mile.
The song you wrote replays in my head,
The words you spoke still makes me red.
You were always so busy,
But you were there when I felt dizzy.
And the way you sang every time I was down,
I couldn't help it but not to frown.
You strummed the melody that keeps me insane,
And from there, the emotions could not be explained.
Although I never thought it'd be true.
But from this day, I still adore you.

This is from the girl who kicks and shoves you for saying love.

"Not yet, I'm still fighting" 02/24/09
Dedicated to Mark-Ryan Nguyen
I'm lazy so it's a free verse

Born as a premature with a disorder.
Your estimated death was coming soon.
But surprisingly, you survived.
For two weeks, you haven't stop fighting.
You gave us hope and brought us a sign.
"Not yet, I'm still fighting."
As I saw you the day before your death.
You seem tired and restless.
The next day, you were gone.
But at least you're no longer fighting.
But resting in peace.

And this is the baby that had a death estimation of 3-4 hours.

Back to School.

So today I'm back in school. Woooo!!! Not so excited but today was the first day of tennis practice. Yay... EXCEPT IT WAS RAINING! BLAH BORING! :[ :[ Oh wells after practice I went with Tabina to her mom's shop. It was fun over there, we just kept on laughing and laughing. After that I went home and got ready for ping pong practice which was not fun at all. It was the most boringest practice ever. I was totally not pump at all so I was lazy. After that I went to go visit my loves in the rain. Blah. -_- Boring day.

I said I was gonna post up poems but I'm lazy lol. :D I PROMISE NEXT TIME!

The Day Maker(s):
Tabina

And I stood over your lonesome body.

You stupid ninkapoop! Idiot Idiot Idiot! But I can't blame you, I would of done the same thing. BLAH BLAH BLAH! -_- I'm stupid. I hate this feeling. I hate the fact that I'm this then I'm that. I swear I could of went, but I think to much. So far I only know one person in the whole world that actually cares about me and wants to help me (thanks for talking to me before umm yeah). Not saying that everyone else is bleck. I don't like attention it's harder to hide. I don't need anyone though I'm fine on my own. "No you're not" I'm not making any sense huh? Well let's end this blog.

Ahh... I hate everything and fuck you and you and you. >:[

The Day Maker(s):
Erica Wu, my lifesaver :D

I want some candy. -_- Next blog, I'll put up some poems :D

Food Poisoned.

ARGG I hate being sick. It's not even a cough or a sneeze. I got food poisoned, I felt as if I'm going to die.

It started on Wednesday night, my dad decided to tell me to eat his sour fish crap, so I did. It was fucking disgusting! So I threw it away. There was nothing to eat so I decided to eat cereal. Like I always do when there's nothing around the house. So, I took out the milk and pulled the thingy off near the cap and poured it in my bowl of cereal. Cereal was gross too! So I threw that away. Next time you know I'm throwing up at 11:30pm and didn't stop until 5:30am. So my mom woke up around 4am and was like did you eat cereal? and I was like yeah and she's like oh milk is expired. LIKE WTF!

So yesterday I missed period 2, 4, and 6 but I went to my 8th period because we had a test and I didn't feel like retaking the test the next morning. Went to my 8th period class with the test in front of me, HAHA I FELL ASLEEP for like 30-45 minutes! There was no point of coming to school in the first place, I didn't even finish the test. I was cold and sleepy, I couldn't focus at all. Came home around 5ish and I felt a bit better, I thought I could take a nap till 8:30pm, wake up and do homework. Next thing you know it's 6:17am. I still had a headache and what not. I was not in the condition to go to school. So I didn't go to school at all today.

IT WAS SO LONELY AT HOME! I DIDN"T KNOW WHAT TO DO! I PLAYED SUDOKU LIKE WTF! But I'm glad that Jericho came over to check up on me. We put aside our argument and talked to each other. :D

So this is pretty much my rant for the day.

The Day Maker(s):
JOHN YU! VISIT HIS BLOGSPOT! Http://jxyuuuu.blogspot.com/

Before I go to bed

I HATE THIS FEELING AND I HATE EVERYTHING(pretty much at the moment)

School, Food, Song, Flowers, and John Yu :D

So today started out terrible, I thought way to much last night so it continued in the morning. Got late to school haha, what's new? haha x] But then I went into the PE room to play racquet ball it was pretty fun! :D Then it was english class, boring. After that Lunch! haha, it was pretty funny how my friends and I were yelling at each other and one of our friend was smiling and was pretty much in it. Pretty funny I would say. I HAD MY CHANCE but I don't know.. Haha Physics class was boring boring boring and freaking confusing! I forgot that my lab was due today so I didn't do it. :P I'll do it soon. Algebra class was pissing me off. The girl that sits across from me was bugging the shit out of me. I was like DAMN IT IT"S FREAKING EASY! Just follow the other paper! AHH! I wanted to choke her. AHAHA x] After school it was National Honor Society and again I had my chance. -_- xD Actually there was a lot of times that I could actually make my move. OH WELLS! After that it was food time. My friend took me out because I completed one week without meat. YEAH SON! :D I got myself a drink, 24 buffalo wings, and cake YUM! :D I feel bloated right now though, I'm fat. haha I'll burn it off during tennis season which is next week! Meaning going home super duper late! :P After that it was time to head home. Babe called me, ahah Jericho.. Jericho just wanted to get mention in one of my blog as babe so here's the day.

Conversation between Babe(Puahaha) and I
Babe: What were you doing?
Me: Eating
Babe: Fucking fat ass everytime I call you, it's always you just got done eating or is eating or about to eat.
Me: What did I do? SIMPLY NOTHING. You need some meat on those bones!
Babe: You need to go work out
Me: I'm lazy...
Babe: Go get a liposuction
*Silence for about one minute*
*Snoring in the background*
Me: What the hell?
Babe fell asleep, FUCKING DOUCHE!

Anyway so I'm doing homework right now :P. School freaking sucks! It's confusing and I'm procrastinating even more! But on the plus side I've finished writing a song for my friend Erica Wu. But I'm playing it to her on her birthday which is in November.. Far... Far... Away So I'm putting that aside.

I Miss Paul Mok, Jimmy Leograuth, and Tyson Huyen. Hope you guys liked the flowers :/

Before this blog ends there is someone I like to introduce. I inspired him to make a blogspot of his own. His name is John Yu!!! :D And he has the cutest dimples buahaha. His blogspot http://jxyuuuu.blogspot.com/

Thank you come again

The Day Maker(s):
Jimmy
Tri
Ling
Sara
Erica

I have no idea..

So today was a much better day than yesterday. My parents and I are still arguing about that by the way. So today, President's day, meaning we have no school! Wooo! So Sherry and I met up at adventist and went to go talk to the volunteer lady. She wasn't there... Not really surprised about that... So Sherry and I went to go to the community center. She's gonna go play volleyball while I play table tennis. (YEAH!) Blah blah blah.... Then afterwards we went to David Douglas with others and played tennis and went down to Cruiser's to get ice cream. YUM :D I went to Sherry's house afterwards.
THE END!

Today I thought about series of things. Things like family, friends, and I Don't Know Why I Thought About That kind of stuff. I feel as if I'm drifting away from many friends. I don't really feel as comfortable with them now. There's only one person I tell everything to. Like at least I have that person to talk to, right? But when that person is not there, I don't turn to anyone unless I'm comfortable enough to tell them but either that NOPE. But yes here is my ranting for today.

The Day Maker(s):
Sherry

Forgotten

Today just happens to be one of the worst freaking days to be forgotten. Like what the hell! I usually get forgotten about 3 times a month but it usually takes about 20 minutes to get pick up. BUT TODAY WAS NO EXCUSE! LIKE WHAT THE HELL MY PARENTS DROP ME OFF AT VOLUNTEERING AND GO TO SALEM!?!?!

At 12:00pm
Me: Pick me up at 5:30
Dad: Okay.

At 5:30pm
Me: Where are you?
Dad: UMM CAN YOU WAIT THERE FOR ABOUT AN HOUR AND 30 MINUTES?
Me: WHY?
Dad: I'm in Salem.
Me: WHAT?!?!
Dad: Yeah so wait there
Me: I"M NOT GONNA WAIT HERE! MY SHIFT USUALLY ENDS AT 4!
Dad: Well what are you gonna do? Go Home?
Me: FINE THEN I WILL!
Dad: Go to your grandma's.
*Mary hangs up*

So I started to walk, I ended up getting a bit lost. IT WAS FREAKING DARK AND I WAS WEARING SHORT SLEEVES! With a heavy ass backpack and a math book in my hand. I eventually reached at the bus stop.... and WAITED FOR 45 MINUTES FOR THE DAMN BUS! It was freaking cold.... I was so slow at texting it took me forever!

Before I got on the bus
*Dad calls*
Dad: Where are you?
Me: uhh I don't know 122nd on Market?
Dad says what about 5 times out loud
Me: I"M ON 122nd ON MARKET!
Dad: OH OKAY I"LL BE THERE IN 30 MINUTES!
Me: HELL NO! (yes I did say that) YOU ARE NOT COMING HERE IN THIRTY MINUTES! I"VE BEEN OUT HERE FOR AN HOUR AND LOOK THE BUS IS COMING! I AM NOT GONNA WAIT FOR YOU!!!! I MEAN YOU"RE BASICALLY IN A DIFFERENT STATE! WHEN VANCOUVER IS 30 MINUTES AWAY BUT YOU"RE IN SALEM WHICH IS AN HOUR OR SO AWAY!
*Very Long Pause"
Dad goes What?
*Mary hangs up*

I arrived at my grandma's house in a bit and the first thing she said was You Look UGLY! WHAT"S WITH THOSE ACNE! BLAH BLAH BLAH!

-_- Perfect day right?
Damn parents!

The Day Maker(s):
Tri
Jane
Jimmy
Ling

The Day Killer(s):
PARENTS PARENTS PARENTS!
>:[ I WAS COLD!

Back to Blogging w/ New Account

So I guess I'm back to using blogspot to tell my everyday life. HAHA, it's been sooo long! Oh wells I have nothing to do at home.

Today is Valentine's Day and it was alright, hung out with the volunteers then transition over to just 3 friends then I went to my friends house and got home around 10pm or so.. Gave out roses and other flowers too :D but one of the roses was totally dead. It wasn't black or anything it was just torn into a million pieces. Oh wells.

The Day Maker(s):
Erica
Piaoling
Jimmy