Question, Quick write, and Day.

"Why? Why are you doing this? Why can't you just end it?" - Anonymous
"Because I'm not strong enough and I'm afraid." - Me

Today was a crappy day. Fuck. I was blah all day except 4th period. I was being a little weirdo and playing with my friend's white hair. It's as if I made a new best friend. hahaha. x] then I pulled out another friend's and tried to trick my cousin hahaha. Did not work out. I'm tired. I wanna go to sleep but I can't. I'm thinking. Sigh...

"Maybe its just me" 02/26/09
So tell me, how long has it been? How long has the world been getting duller? Or is it my vision, losing it's color? Simply how long? I use to be so much more. I use to try and act normally. Never had to hide, never had to run. But now everything is hiding behind my smile. Behind the fake being in myself. As memories replay in my mind, someone is yelling at me to get over it. How can I? Do you even imagine yourself in my place? No you don't, you go on with your lecture. Saying this and that while I talk back. I have my reasons for being like this, do you even listen to me? Or maybe I haven't been listening. Hypocritical about many situation, I don't listen to my own advices, I don't listen to what others say. Negativity overwhelms my mind and body and yet I give out a positive motion in person. And that's my fault. Maybe its just me.

The Day Maker(s):
None

At school and Sara Yon

So I'm writing this blog from the computer lab in school. I'm so bored and I'm right next to my friend, Sara Yon! :D No I am not off task it's because there's nothing to do and the printer doesn't have enough ink. Benson is stupid so the guy is not here to replace the ink. I mean I CAN so :P. For a tech school the computers here are slow and old. Tsk tsk tsk. What kind of school is this. Oh look some student came here with ink. Woo that means I have to get back to work. The teacher is right behind me and I don't really care. He likes me so it's all good. I currently hate this boy because he took the country CHINA so now I have Laos. There's nothing bad about Laos it's just I didn't wanna write and talk about it because I absolutly know nothing about the country. :[

The sun is shining today. I'm happy! :D Tennis outside then YAYAYAYAYAY. The rain better not come at the last minute though. Or i'll be MAD. I hate Portland but then I also love the place. :] It contains all my love ones.

Sara is wondering how can I talk so much about my life. Because I am self-centered. HAHA NOT just that I like to keep my readers reading. :] NO I"M NOT LYING ABOUT MY LIFE. THAT"S JUST SAD! I just like talking a lot. Which I do a lot. :D

I"M HUNGRY! HUNGRY HUNGRY HUNGRY! :P but yeah, How's your life? Well don't tell me make your own blogspot. Sob Sob Sob I have nothing to type about I guess I'll continue this at home. I'm just continuously typing because I'm a loser with nothing to do. Sara is actually doing her work. I'm just gonna talk about her because I pretty much love her. :D Even though she loves Wilson more. "I LOVE YOU MARY! BUT I"M IN LOVE WITH WILSON!" - Sara YAWNS! :D Tehehehe. Some random people are grabbing the mini shoe on my backpack for no reasons. I'm just slightly typing this away and glaring at them. So Bored. Ahh....

SARA LOVES WILSON
SARA LOVES WILSON
SARA LOVES WILSON
SARA LOVES WILSON
SARA LOVES WILSON
MARY LOVES WILSON
OH SHIT SARA HIT ME BECAUSE I SAID THAT!
SHE WANTS HER MAN!
HER ANOREXIC MAN But he's all fat and no bones. He jiggles. :]
HE"S A BLOW UP DOLL! HAHAHHAHA :D
SARA LOVES WILSON WILSON WILSON.

;]

At home:
My thought as of right now.
I really miss you, I didn't know you can do this much of an impact on me. Sighh... I'm sorry.

Rain, Joanna, and Poems :D

School was boring, I just wanted to sleep. :P I hate the rain, to much rain. Go away rain. Stupid rain -_-. But I'm working on a song about the weather (idea from Joanna Yan VISIT HER BLOGSPOT http://ch4pst1ck.blogspot.com/)

Poems are here :D
"And from this day" 02/24/09
Dedicated to Paul Mok

I may be a fool if I show this,
But I cannot hide that it's you I miss.
The world became cold on a summer's day,
And the color vision I use to have became gray.
The way you use to make me smile,
I always knew you went the extra mile.
The song you wrote replays in my head,
The words you spoke still makes me red.
You were always so busy,
But you were there when I felt dizzy.
And the way you sang every time I was down,
I couldn't help it but not to frown.
You strummed the melody that keeps me insane,
And from there, the emotions could not be explained.
Although I never thought it'd be true.
But from this day, I still adore you.

This is from the girl who kicks and shoves you for saying love.

"Not yet, I'm still fighting" 02/24/09
Dedicated to Mark-Ryan Nguyen
I'm lazy so it's a free verse

Born as a premature with a disorder.
Your estimated death was coming soon.
But surprisingly, you survived.
For two weeks, you haven't stop fighting.
You gave us hope and brought us a sign.
"Not yet, I'm still fighting."
As I saw you the day before your death.
You seem tired and restless.
The next day, you were gone.
But at least you're no longer fighting.
But resting in peace.

And this is the baby that had a death estimation of 3-4 hours.

Back to School.

So today I'm back in school. Woooo!!! Not so excited but today was the first day of tennis practice. Yay... EXCEPT IT WAS RAINING! BLAH BORING! :[ :[ Oh wells after practice I went with Tabina to her mom's shop. It was fun over there, we just kept on laughing and laughing. After that I went home and got ready for ping pong practice which was not fun at all. It was the most boringest practice ever. I was totally not pump at all so I was lazy. After that I went to go visit my loves in the rain. Blah. -_- Boring day.

I said I was gonna post up poems but I'm lazy lol. :D I PROMISE NEXT TIME!

The Day Maker(s):
Tabina

And I stood over your lonesome body.

You stupid ninkapoop! Idiot Idiot Idiot! But I can't blame you, I would of done the same thing. BLAH BLAH BLAH! -_- I'm stupid. I hate this feeling. I hate the fact that I'm this then I'm that. I swear I could of went, but I think to much. So far I only know one person in the whole world that actually cares about me and wants to help me (thanks for talking to me before umm yeah). Not saying that everyone else is bleck. I don't like attention it's harder to hide. I don't need anyone though I'm fine on my own. "No you're not" I'm not making any sense huh? Well let's end this blog.

Ahh... I hate everything and fuck you and you and you. >:[

The Day Maker(s):
Erica Wu, my lifesaver :D

I want some candy. -_- Next blog, I'll put up some poems :D

Food Poisoned.

ARGG I hate being sick. It's not even a cough or a sneeze. I got food poisoned, I felt as if I'm going to die.

It started on Wednesday night, my dad decided to tell me to eat his sour fish crap, so I did. It was fucking disgusting! So I threw it away. There was nothing to eat so I decided to eat cereal. Like I always do when there's nothing around the house. So, I took out the milk and pulled the thingy off near the cap and poured it in my bowl of cereal. Cereal was gross too! So I threw that away. Next time you know I'm throwing up at 11:30pm and didn't stop until 5:30am. So my mom woke up around 4am and was like did you eat cereal? and I was like yeah and she's like oh milk is expired. LIKE WTF!

So yesterday I missed period 2, 4, and 6 but I went to my 8th period because we had a test and I didn't feel like retaking the test the next morning. Went to my 8th period class with the test in front of me, HAHA I FELL ASLEEP for like 30-45 minutes! There was no point of coming to school in the first place, I didn't even finish the test. I was cold and sleepy, I couldn't focus at all. Came home around 5ish and I felt a bit better, I thought I could take a nap till 8:30pm, wake up and do homework. Next thing you know it's 6:17am. I still had a headache and what not. I was not in the condition to go to school. So I didn't go to school at all today.

IT WAS SO LONELY AT HOME! I DIDN"T KNOW WHAT TO DO! I PLAYED SUDOKU LIKE WTF! But I'm glad that Jericho came over to check up on me. We put aside our argument and talked to each other. :D

So this is pretty much my rant for the day.

The Day Maker(s):
JOHN YU! VISIT HIS BLOGSPOT! Http://jxyuuuu.blogspot.com/

Before I go to bed

I HATE THIS FEELING AND I HATE EVERYTHING(pretty much at the moment)

School, Food, Song, Flowers, and John Yu :D

So today started out terrible, I thought way to much last night so it continued in the morning. Got late to school haha, what's new? haha x] But then I went into the PE room to play racquet ball it was pretty fun! :D Then it was english class, boring. After that Lunch! haha, it was pretty funny how my friends and I were yelling at each other and one of our friend was smiling and was pretty much in it. Pretty funny I would say. I HAD MY CHANCE but I don't know.. Haha Physics class was boring boring boring and freaking confusing! I forgot that my lab was due today so I didn't do it. :P I'll do it soon. Algebra class was pissing me off. The girl that sits across from me was bugging the shit out of me. I was like DAMN IT IT"S FREAKING EASY! Just follow the other paper! AHH! I wanted to choke her. AHAHA x] After school it was National Honor Society and again I had my chance. -_- xD Actually there was a lot of times that I could actually make my move. OH WELLS! After that it was food time. My friend took me out because I completed one week without meat. YEAH SON! :D I got myself a drink, 24 buffalo wings, and cake YUM! :D I feel bloated right now though, I'm fat. haha I'll burn it off during tennis season which is next week! Meaning going home super duper late! :P After that it was time to head home. Babe called me, ahah Jericho.. Jericho just wanted to get mention in one of my blog as babe so here's the day.

Conversation between Babe(Puahaha) and I
Babe: What were you doing?
Me: Eating
Babe: Fucking fat ass everytime I call you, it's always you just got done eating or is eating or about to eat.
Me: What did I do? SIMPLY NOTHING. You need some meat on those bones!
Babe: You need to go work out
Me: I'm lazy...
Babe: Go get a liposuction
*Silence for about one minute*
*Snoring in the background*
Me: What the hell?
Babe fell asleep, FUCKING DOUCHE!

Anyway so I'm doing homework right now :P. School freaking sucks! It's confusing and I'm procrastinating even more! But on the plus side I've finished writing a song for my friend Erica Wu. But I'm playing it to her on her birthday which is in November.. Far... Far... Away So I'm putting that aside.

I Miss Paul Mok, Jimmy Leograuth, and Tyson Huyen. Hope you guys liked the flowers :/

Before this blog ends there is someone I like to introduce. I inspired him to make a blogspot of his own. His name is John Yu!!! :D And he has the cutest dimples buahaha. His blogspot http://jxyuuuu.blogspot.com/

Thank you come again

The Day Maker(s):
Jimmy
Tri
Ling
Sara
Erica

I have no idea..

So today was a much better day than yesterday. My parents and I are still arguing about that by the way. So today, President's day, meaning we have no school! Wooo! So Sherry and I met up at adventist and went to go talk to the volunteer lady. She wasn't there... Not really surprised about that... So Sherry and I went to go to the community center. She's gonna go play volleyball while I play table tennis. (YEAH!) Blah blah blah.... Then afterwards we went to David Douglas with others and played tennis and went down to Cruiser's to get ice cream. YUM :D I went to Sherry's house afterwards.
THE END!

Today I thought about series of things. Things like family, friends, and I Don't Know Why I Thought About That kind of stuff. I feel as if I'm drifting away from many friends. I don't really feel as comfortable with them now. There's only one person I tell everything to. Like at least I have that person to talk to, right? But when that person is not there, I don't turn to anyone unless I'm comfortable enough to tell them but either that NOPE. But yes here is my ranting for today.

The Day Maker(s):
Sherry

Forgotten

Today just happens to be one of the worst freaking days to be forgotten. Like what the hell! I usually get forgotten about 3 times a month but it usually takes about 20 minutes to get pick up. BUT TODAY WAS NO EXCUSE! LIKE WHAT THE HELL MY PARENTS DROP ME OFF AT VOLUNTEERING AND GO TO SALEM!?!?!

At 12:00pm
Me: Pick me up at 5:30
Dad: Okay.

At 5:30pm
Me: Where are you?
Dad: UMM CAN YOU WAIT THERE FOR ABOUT AN HOUR AND 30 MINUTES?
Me: WHY?
Dad: I'm in Salem.
Me: WHAT?!?!
Dad: Yeah so wait there
Me: I"M NOT GONNA WAIT HERE! MY SHIFT USUALLY ENDS AT 4!
Dad: Well what are you gonna do? Go Home?
Me: FINE THEN I WILL!
Dad: Go to your grandma's.
*Mary hangs up*

So I started to walk, I ended up getting a bit lost. IT WAS FREAKING DARK AND I WAS WEARING SHORT SLEEVES! With a heavy ass backpack and a math book in my hand. I eventually reached at the bus stop.... and WAITED FOR 45 MINUTES FOR THE DAMN BUS! It was freaking cold.... I was so slow at texting it took me forever!

Before I got on the bus
*Dad calls*
Dad: Where are you?
Me: uhh I don't know 122nd on Market?
Dad says what about 5 times out loud
Me: I"M ON 122nd ON MARKET!
Dad: OH OKAY I"LL BE THERE IN 30 MINUTES!
Me: HELL NO! (yes I did say that) YOU ARE NOT COMING HERE IN THIRTY MINUTES! I"VE BEEN OUT HERE FOR AN HOUR AND LOOK THE BUS IS COMING! I AM NOT GONNA WAIT FOR YOU!!!! I MEAN YOU"RE BASICALLY IN A DIFFERENT STATE! WHEN VANCOUVER IS 30 MINUTES AWAY BUT YOU"RE IN SALEM WHICH IS AN HOUR OR SO AWAY!
*Very Long Pause"
Dad goes What?
*Mary hangs up*

I arrived at my grandma's house in a bit and the first thing she said was You Look UGLY! WHAT"S WITH THOSE ACNE! BLAH BLAH BLAH!

-_- Perfect day right?
Damn parents!

The Day Maker(s):
Tri
Jane
Jimmy
Ling

The Day Killer(s):
PARENTS PARENTS PARENTS!
>:[ I WAS COLD!

Back to Blogging w/ New Account

So I guess I'm back to using blogspot to tell my everyday life. HAHA, it's been sooo long! Oh wells I have nothing to do at home.

Today is Valentine's Day and it was alright, hung out with the volunteers then transition over to just 3 friends then I went to my friends house and got home around 10pm or so.. Gave out roses and other flowers too :D but one of the roses was totally dead. It wasn't black or anything it was just torn into a million pieces. Oh wells.

The Day Maker(s):
Erica
Piaoling
Jimmy