I'm a fool, a dumb fool.

Why must you do this to me!? I'm a fool I say, a dumb fool. Why do I like you? I don't even fucking know anymore. We get into frequent arguements. Do we even listen to each other? One of us always has to let go and leave the situation unsolved. Then that situation brings up again. I've felt pain, you act like you don't know! I'm not blaming you, well I am a bit. God damn it! I can't even talk to anyone about this. I'm so frustrated! UGH!

I'm hungry.

I'm at Jimmy's house
We're watching district 9.

I drank this nasty jagermeifter drink. IT WAS SOOOOO GROSS! LOL!
And he drank something with pineapple. Sky Infusion yeah.

I'm hungry. I'm hungry.
I have a haircut appointment at 4 today so I'm just waiting.

WTF!

Like Seriously?

Poems.

Mary is gonna make herself known for what she loves one day!
I sent in 12 of my poems from 8th grade(3 years ago) to an publisher located in Arizona.
They sent me a message back saying that this is not what they're looking for but they are glad that I have started at a younger age and they want me to send in my current ones. To me I thought it was a positive response because my poems back then are ewww. But yeah Currently writing one! :D!

I write songs, I write poems, I am a writer who hopes.
Writerhopes.

Trap Cards.

In school so bored. Next to My Van right now. School is gay and friends are gay. ALL OF THEM ARE! So contradicting? if you heard me during lunch today you know who I mean.

Maria is going back to New York on friday! I hate to admit it but I'll miss her even though we fight like crazy! She's a faggot though none of the less. :D

My Van looks depress right now D:

"She does not look depressed."

Oh yes she does! TICKLE MY TUM TUM!

"No she doesn't shut up"

:D

Today I shall go to Hawthrone and attempt to get my secret receiver something.Lol With Jimmy because he has a umbrella that works!

He gave me a broken one when he lost mine, Well his mom gave it away. THANKS JIMMY! -_-
You will be defeated! >:[ Prepare to meet your doom! YOU WILL BECOME A SQUEALING GIRL! MUAHAHAHAHHAHAA!

"Seem like your were gonna cut off his boy part"

YES! YES I AM! MUAHAHHAHAHAHAH! or give your dog away to someone. nah I wouldn't even touch your dog or your penis. I'll get your dog to bite it off! MUAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA

PREPARE TO MEET YOUR DOOM!

The End :]

I love them.

Best friends, Jimmy Leograuth and Tyson Huyen
I miss you guys. Can't wait to join you up in heaven. I love you guys.
It's been 2 years and still counting ever since you guys been gone.

First Crush, First Love, Paul Mah
I miss you. Been going to your grave everyday. Even Brian makes me see you. I'll see you in heaven soon love.

My Baby, Baby Paul West Ma
You're not my actual baby. But basically you are. I miss you and love you.

Friends, Everyone else.
Dancers, Music producers, and Writers. Love you all.

I miss my friends. :[

Movies.

I watched 3 asian movies last night, They were all supposed to be horror films. lol

Watched
- Suicide dolls
- We're going to eat you
- Cello

Suicide Dolls was the most blehhhh movie! Okay so there was no subtitles, it was self explanatory though. But the only one that could understand was Brian. Lol So I'm going spoil the movie, the first death was that a girl shot herself in the head IT TOOK LIKE 20 minutes for her to die! The second death was that a girl hung herself, wasn't epic though... The third death was that a girl performed Harakiri on herself, which is stomach cutting and she pulled one of her eyes out but it took so long for her to die! Then there was like some dolls dancing at the end, it was soooooo stupid! Playing some Gabba music. Omg the stupidest funniest thing! Then after the credits there was a random sex scene. It was very gory. Very stupid

The movie We're going to eat you was not scary. It was just very funny. Where these detectives went to some island full of cannibals to catch a bandit. Funny Funny Funny.

Cello I LIKE THE MOVIE! It was epic! :D

Then last night Cousin and the Brian's went to party. I stayed home.

Something that came up last night.

People who compare my poems to their:
Ahem...

Fuck you guys lol! You guys write about the obvious! Trying to use big words in them? LOL Do you even know what it means? You guys make me laugh. Seriously you guys are excellent writers but don't need to say shit about mine. I'm still improving. Something that's different between my poems and yours. I write what's on my mind during that moment and it takes me like 5 minutes to 1 hour, you guys write about something that you've never felt or anything and it takes you a month to finish. Don't compare!

I quick write!

Writerhopes

Oyy.

WOW Wtf! Brian broke up with me. And we just got back together yesterday.

Whatever more time for school and poetry. -_-

Oyy..

Update.

Got back together with Brian. I don't know if I should be happy or be disappointed? I got tricked! He was speaking in chinese and I was like yeah yeah whatever, you know? Oyy, but it gave me a heart warming feeling. He's coming to Oregon this week, don't know when. Yes he's in California. Mary in a long distance relationship?!?! but really it's not a long distance relationship if we can come to each other anytime we want. Lol. We have the power to do that.

You ever notice before how everyone use to be straight? As if gays, bi's, and lesbians were outcast? Remember those immature days? Well now don't you notice there's many different orientations? I don't have a problem at all with Gays, Bi's, and lesbian's. But it's like a trend right now. When this trend is over, will everyone be like I'm straight? Life is full of paths to follow, why don't people make their own?

Writing a book of poetry. Determined.

Winter is chasing us song, almost done.

I'm tired. Talking to Brian, he's yawning on me.

Oh and by the way, I punched my eye and I don't know how.

Life is confusing.

Music Music Music

Music carries me so far. I don't know where I would be if music has never existed. I would die if I was deaf, listening to music, playing music, I love music.

I can't wait until I get my first tattoo and yes it involves music. No I will not regret it, I can never regret anything that involves with music.

Live life loving music.

Winter is chasing us song will be done by December 21st. I will be playing the song in public that day.

Swimming

Swimming!
So today was my first swim meet ever! It was epic because my coach made me do 3 events. The 50 free, the 100 free and the 200 free relay (all I had to do was a 50 free).

So during the 50 free, I was pretty confident/nervous. Getting up on the board I felt as if nothing matters anymore. I didn't do 2 feet diving because I didn't perfect it yet. So I use one feet. I felt confident that time but then as I enter the water and notice that my vision was blurry, my goggles fell off. Like Epic fail man. As I continue to grasp for air in the last 25 because I didn't like the feeling of being blind, my mind is like FUCK FUCK FUCK. But the thing is that I beat someone in that race so I'm happy. LOL My time was 41.47 seconds

The 100 free, WHAT AN EPIC EVENT! Seriously this is my first time doing a full 100. Hahaha, like during practice I slack off. hahha Bad bad bad. but yeah full 100 this time. Stepping on the board wasn't to bad, I was scared that my goggles would fall off so I really tucked in my chin. Diving in was better because my goggles didn't fall! As I pace myself in the first 50, I noticed I was really slow compare to everyone! I was like fuck fuck fuck. So in my last 50 I tried to go faster. Pshh it didn't work at all LOL! But I finished with the time of 134 seconds.

So the last event was the 200 Free relay, I didn't really do much just swam. I was dead tired though, so tired.

Swimming man, it's fun! Wednesday at Columbia against Franklin!

Up at the studio!

With my loves beside me! Drinking them grey goose and dancing to lady gaga all night. Damn, I love these people. They make my days!

Swimming Meet coming up!! Gotta get ready!

I'm tired. let's sleep.

Fuck School

Lady Gaga - Monster.
Song is cool, don't hate of her!

School School School
I fucking hate school this year, the schedule is screwing up my grades. Hosa Conference is not gonna be there next year. And I just hate the teacher. Well one teacher, Ms. Koch. Her CPR shit is fun but then again it's hella boring! This year, I'm copying a lot of homework and that I need help in my classes. I usually don't need that much help and I usually dont' copy that much last year. It's pissing me off. The only thing that seems to work out is the sports. And yes I am trying, just that it's sooooo hard to like focus on this one thing.

I miss writing, like poetry. I need another fucking break!

Cussing to much, man.

AHH.

3 topics

3 topic I would like to talk about in this blog.
1. Using different delects and languages
2. Depression
3. That feeling.

Using different delects and Language.
So I'm friends with a lot of chinese people especially in school. To many actually. So we all talk in english and all that shit right? Then all the sudden BOOM! Foreign language takes over the conversation, so all these non-understanding people goes quiet, like wtf? OKAY NOW. Seriously, I hate it when I'm with a group of people of all the same race sometimes. They're speaking their different delects and then turns to me, why is Mary so quiet today? I'm not quiet, I just can't understand what the fuck you're saying! I'm not trying to say you guys can't talk in your guess delect. Just be like don't approaching me saying I'm quiet when you all are speaking this foreign language around me. Get it?
And People should shut the fuck up about people can't speak their own like family language. I can understand viet, just can't speak it. Don't fucking say shit in viet like "She's viet but she can't speak it, Bad parents Bad parents." Yeah fuck you, I understand your shit. People need to think before they speak man. I know I do, but what are you gonna say when you were just saying it's stupid that people don't know how, you know there are people in the room that doesn't. So what are you going to say when they speak up? like you're stupid or something? bitch please, I'll be more successful than you are.

Depression
To many people exaggerates the feeling of sadness, saying that they are depressed. You are not depressed. Go to the doctors and check then. Enough said.

That Feeling
Brian and I just broke up yet we still have feelings for each other. We talk and talk. Use nicknames for each other. It's as if we've never broke up. Jealousy reveals as he gets a girl's number and when I go to a party. It's obvious to both of us, we know that we want to continue our relationship, we know what we want. I'm not assuming, we've actually talked about this. But we just can't, my schooling is failing and I'm taking up his time. We're just to busy for each other. We know that so we don't go for it. I have other shit as well as he does. Just that I don't want to mention it. Ay Yah.

I know that I'm like a douche about some of the stuff I just said. Well I am expressing myself on my blog. Ask me about it and I'll explain it to you.